Are you among the marrieds who have in-law challenges? Do you have a spouse who seems to be too attached to their parents? Do you or your spouse concerned that the other prioritizes their parents over you? Are there conflicts over clashes in values or religion? Or are things generally fine until the holidays come around? Perhaps you have another type of challenge with your in-laws. If this sounds like you read on and discover the number one thing to do to deal with your in-laws during the holidays.The holidays can make any existing in-law issues even worse. Whether it is a struggle over where to celebrate the holidays at, who will cook what, whose traditions will be followed, everything can become intensified at this time of the year. There is a lot to be said about in-law issues that may affect the relationship all year round and a lot of questions to be answered (see upcoming issues for more information on in-law struggles).However, if you are concerned about the short term and getting through the holidays more smoothly there is one first step you must take to help resolve, or at least smooth out prickly issues: Sit down with your spouse with a cooperative and calm demeanor that communicates, “I want to see what we can do to have the best Thanksgiving (Christmas, Easter, etc.) we can.Once you are sitting down together ask yourselves the following questions:-What is the tone you want to set for these holidays?
-What are the specific traditions you want to include?
-What behaviors are you anticipating will bother you most from your in-laws?
-Can the two of you be direct with each other about the problems?
-Can you be direct with the in-laws?
-How can the biologically related spouse support the needs and concerns of their spouse?
-What steps can either and both of you take that are preventative and then what steps can you
-Take to address issues as they arise?
-Plan in advance how one or both of you might respond when the thorny issue crops up when everyone is passing the cranberry mold.During this conversation there are a few important tips to remember:#1 – Remain calm and approach your partner with an attitude of curiousity and problem-solving mindset. “Tell me how you feel when _______ happens when we are all together?”#2 – Avoid getting defensive. Instead, take a breath and remain open and receptive.#3 – Stress your concern for your partners’ (child of the in-laws) stress level when things go badly.#4 – Be honest about your reactions and avoid blaming your in-laws or assassinating their character. Also avoid blaming your spouse. “Your mother is always so mean to me.” “Your father is a drunk.” Instead try, “I feel humiliated when your mother criticizes me in front of the whole family. I’m not sure how to get her to stop.”#5 – Be specific. Rather than sweeping statements like, “Your mother is so controlling.” “I get frustrated when your mother comes in and starts resetting the table and moving things around.” or “I feel angry when your father tells you to ‘man up’.#6 – Remind each other you are a team and on each other’s side.I hope this helps you have a smooth and peaceful holiday season.
8 Ways to Lower Your Life Insurance Costs
REDUCE YOUR LIFE INSURANCE PREMIUMS BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER YOU PURCHASE A POLICYThere are number of factors that impact your insurance costs. The average Canadian spends close to $58 per month (approx. $700 annually) on e.g. Term Life insurance, which is a significant cost block. This article lays out the main approaches that can be taken to lower these costs.There are many explanations for the life insurance prices that you pay and it is important to understand what you can do to before and after you purchase your Policy to keep your premiums low without affecting your coverage.YOU PLAN TO GET LIFE INSURANCE: WHAT CAN YOU DO TO LOWER THE COSTS?Aside from the standard advice to shop around and get multiple quotes, there are number of things that you can do to get lower insurance quotes from life insurers.1. Apply for the policy while you are young – most Canadians apply for life insurance in their early-to-mid thirties when they are getting engaged or married, or begin having children. Applying for the policy earlier will often get you better rates in return. According to statistical data, Canadians pay an average of $40 per month for a Term Policy with a similar coverage ($250-500k) if they are 31-35 years of age, $47 per month if they are 35-40 years of age, and as much as $64 if they are 51-55 years of age.2. Be healthy when applying for the policy. Many insurance customers pay 25% more for their Policy because they are overweight. Staying in shape and maintaining a healthy lifestyle will not only eliminate this extra portion of the costs, but can also result in a discount of up to 25%.3. Stop smoking well in advance of applying for an insurance policy. Insurers will expect to see at least a year without smoking in order to be granted the standard premiums. Otherwise, prepare yourself for premiums that are almost double.4. Drive safely – Maintaining a clean driving record will be rewarded not only by your auto insurer, but also by your life insurance provider. You can avoid an extra 25-50% of additional costs that result from a poor driving record. Having a flawed driving record with several at-fault accidents can lead to a declining you by insurance companies.YOU ALREADY HAVE A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY: HOW DO YOU LOWER ITS COSTS?Surprisingly, many people are not aware of the ability to lower their insurance costs after purchasing a policy. The key is to improve your own risk profile, thus, making it less risky for the insurance company. Below are four simple approaches to enhance your risk profile:1. Stop smoking – If you are able to demonstrate that you gave up smoking and have not returned to it for at least one year, you may lower your insurance costs.2. Stop drinking – Limiting your alcohol consumption will positively impact your insurance budget. After one year of no drinking, it is time to talk to your insurance provider. Having a few glasses of wine each week is not a problem; however, drinking three to four beers a day will not reduce your rates.3. Lose weight – Improving your physical fitness and health condition can be positively reflected in your life insurance premiums. You not only have the opportunity to reduce your premiums to the normal level, but can also qualify for a ‘Premium Health Customer Discount’ of up to an additional 25% off your life insurance premiums.4. Keep driving safely – If you received your insurance policy with a poor driving record, there is a good chance it has increased your life insurance rates by as much as 25% to 50%. If your offenses are three or more years old, this becomes visible to insurers and you can get your insurance premiums adjusted accordingly.